hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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