That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
