is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
