ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
