I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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