Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
