glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize