Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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