I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
