OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
