We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
