Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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