Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
