Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
