they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
