The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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