He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize