I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize