am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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