I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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