Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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