I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
