There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
