You're completely useless in the revolution.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
