Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
