I wannas sexs uuuuu
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
