He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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