How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
