fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
