Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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