You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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