he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
