Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
