After last night, I could never be a politician.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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