If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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