I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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