i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
