At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
