I'm so fucking centered right now
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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