some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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