I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
