Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
