She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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