Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize