i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
