Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
