i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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