Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
