Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
