Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
