Yo dont text me then not text me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
