how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
