she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
