dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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