I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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