i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There's even glitter on my cock...
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