u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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