So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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