He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
