***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
