Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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