Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
PANTIES FOUND
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